The 5 Love Langauges

>> Monday, July 16, 2012

I was lucky enough to be married around the same time as a group of friends and neighbors. We discovered this book that became part of our own book club. I have since recommended, counseled and given my copy away--on a few occasions. The 5 Love Languages is an insightful and interesting read.

The book has simple spiritual tones to it yet it delivers on bonding relationships through the study of each other (my personal mantra). We all have a language of love. The five principles gives you the opportunity to identify which language (s) is your love language and which language is "spoken" by your spouse.

The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Too many times we assume our love language is the same as our spouse and we wonder why we are not making progress. For example, you may have the Words of Affirmation as your primary language, yet your spouse has expressed or hinted that they like thoughtful gestures such as breakfast in bed or organizing a common area of the home which they enjoy. Most likely, their love language would be Acts of Service.

The more you know about your primary and even secondary language, as well as theirs, the better the chances of improving you marital  bond. Note: The other spouse does not have to read the book for the principles to be effective. You can summarize to your spouse what you are learning and get their input. This may help them to participate and become engaged in conversation.  

To learn more go to The 5 Love Languages.


My wedding song....

>> Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I was blasting this song on the radio this morning because it's "Our Song". I had some memorable songs arranged for my wedding ceremony and reception dinner. This song is special to me as it is the closing song in our wedding ceremony, where I dance down the aisle to exit the church building, followed by my bride's maids and groom's man.Till this day all my friends and family cheerfully remember my ceremony finale.

This is the song that followed after my morning jam, on the car radio. I included it as a oldie and goodie. I love the jazzy flavor.

What is the song you share with your spouse?


Empathy in Relationships.

>> Monday, July 09, 2012

I've observed this in Couple's Counseling. Once one spouse understands the other through empathizing, the other spouse's mood, demeanor and look in the eyes-changes.
Empathy is a powerful ingredient to a happy marriage. Click link below for article.

EMPATHY: The Secret Sauce to a Happy Marriage.


"Raising Boys"

>> Tuesday, July 03, 2012

My sons are developing so fast. I recommend reading the book "Raising Boys" which has helped me so much and books on moving from one to more children. Very useful info from professionals and their samples of parents who have a wealth of experience.

In "Raising Boys" a significant chapter in the book spoke about a mother's job is to build and put courage into, until one day their relationship with you must be "put to death" for them to be free to healthy independence as men. So deep. The fact that in order for them to be well adjusted men they will need to sever the ties they experienced with the most significant people in their lives, which is opposite to raising healthy girls who need to be close and imitate you for successful adulthood. (So I am told).

These are the times that I am treasuring and enjoying, because I know I will never get them back. I can see a great friendship being built for an open communication and affection with my to be men. I have been taking tons of pictures and videos. The other day both boys were playing Minecraft, the new video game craze for viral building and viral outside survival. I overheard my oldest say, "I am awesome. I am awesome right?" His younger brother replied, "Yes you are. Am I awesome?" His older brother stated, "You are totally awesome." In the other room, couldn't stop giggling.

I have captured videos knowingly and in secret, of them swimming, chatting with friends about knowing someone in class who actually kissed a girl, dancing around the house, attempting to make a Minecraft video training, playing Ga Ga in a wooden arena with teams, outdoor BBQ with other children in church, their silly ways with 2 year old cousin, our family  trip to Florida, baby birds rescued from the bushes, my cell phone wall paper of them in front of the White House, Strings concert where oldest played the violin and their Moving Up ceremony to the next grade level.

They say when they get older they will not forget me. Giving their paychecks to me, buying me a house and stating, "When I am rich I am going to get you...." They are sweethearts but I'll just enjoy the gifts they are giving me now.