Well wishes for the holidays.

>> Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I hope you all have a great holiday filled with love, good health, financial wealth and answered wishes.

We downsized from a three bedroom to a two bedroom apartment to save money. I'm glad we kept the two baths, especially with three "men" in the house. I was in the holiday spirit and decorated the outside of our door. I think I may have over done it, my poor neighbors.

I also decorated our tree with the same decor that has lasted three years now. It makes our new apartment look so warm and beautiful.

Don't worry about the presents. We are in the middle of translating the funds in fun gifts for the kids. Unfortunately, my older son lost his DSI in the movie theater. Of course we will have to replace it. He cried for a long time. I was going to stop him but realized it's the same feeling when we grown ups loose our phone. It was heart wrenching to watch and I could only imagine what he felt, so I let him get it all out.

My husband and I will have to wrap a card that says "Coupon for a DSI redeemable in January 2012". We can't afford it this Christmas but we can when the sales are on. Thank God he is an understanding kid.

I'll have my last blog for the year next week. It will be about the events of 2011, highlights on LEA and behind the scenes of LEA. You won't want to miss that. Until then, "Have a Wonderful Holiday Season!


One & Only-Adele

>> Monday, December 19, 2011

Another great love song by Adele. I am also riding the Adele train to stardom.


"Hope"-Twista ft. Faith Evans

>> Friday, December 09, 2011

My husband and I are putting together a Fundraising Dinner for our scholarship program. Working together can be a challenge because we have such different ideas and ways of doing things. Here we are life partners and we can't even be partners in a momentary task. I'm sure you understand what I am experiencing.

Why did I even decide to do this? My heart is in the right place. But why so much conflict. I expected friction but the other day in the car I said I just can't speak anymore and that's big for me. I love to talk! (Hence my blog as therapy). I'm starting to feel better just having you listen. Plus I didn't mention to you that I have two family members in the hospital and news of another stressful event.

So what drove me to the edge? These stressers and how all along I have been communicating about this event, which is tomorrow. I expected we have been on the same page as there was no disagreement but apparent signs of active listening and participation. So what happens this week? He asked me a question that we discussed earlier last month. Then he made a comment later that told me something wasn't taken care of. It was the perfect scenario to express what I should have communicated a while ago but it came out to the surface.

Now we are at crunch time and I can only Hope it will all turn out excellently and our lives will go back to calmness. Until then I can't stop playing this song. I'll fill you in on how wonderful the Dinner turns out. Until then I am holding on to HOPE.


"Easy"-Rascal Flatts ft. N. Bedingfield

>> Thursday, December 08, 2011

Sometimes this is the truth in relationships.


When it just doesn't work.

>> Tuesday, December 06, 2011

I found out some good friends are getting a divorce. It is shocking to everyone as the husband was so in love with his spouse. After a few years he committed infidelity and the marriage never recovered, even after he initiated and told her. She spoke to me and she made a plan to do the best she could to hold her marriage together. (That way she can say she gave it her all with no regrets).

It just wouldn't work and she refused to live any longer, in a marriage, where she felt unloved. Now she is staying at her parents home and has feelings of shame. I spoke to her yesterday and encouraged her that she did nothing wrong as sometimes victims of abuse and infidelity may feel.

They have no children so it is not as complicated but she is exhausted with the dividing and selling of property and furniture. Another plus is at least they are civil towards each other and maybe the time away will mend the hurts. I came home and told my husband as it is always a sobering time when these things happen. It is difficult to accept but causes you to re-access you marriage.

What are your expectations? Are you happy? Are you doing your part and more? Are you holding a grudge, anger or bitterness? (They are all different). Has you marriage suffered due to your actions and you fail to take responsibility? How much fun do you make it? How often do you use kind words and compliments? How much house work do you do? Do you share the bills or initiate to help? Have you become ungrateful for even the little things or common things? Do you remember special occasions and still give gifts? How's your parenting? How's your cleanliness and organization? How do you greet each other? Are you being honest? How is your forgiveness and grace levels? How's love making? Do you replace the toilet paper roll : ) ?

Are you re-accessing your marriage? I am.