>> Sunday, September 25, 2011
I am from NY where we don't have to drive if we do not want to. NYrkers have a choice of public transportation and I know that place like the back of my hand.. (wait what's that spot...) Besides the stressful atmosphere, who wants to drive? I sure didn't need it. Not my husband, he is a true cruzer. Every now and then he would give me a lift to work in "Blue Car". Then came motherhood and we got "black car". Black car served our family well until one day; the big 40 came. My husband was turning 40 and his birthday request was to get a car his grandfather had and then his father owned and now he reached a point in his life when he wanted an Audi.
Was he out of his mind! We are parents! Then I remembered how wonderful of a spouse he has been and provider and father and assistant house cleaner.....the evidence was overwhelming. Plus he had never asked for anything for his birthday in the last 8 years. So I said yes. And he was a very happy camper. We went to the dealership he wanted and we saw an A4 and an A6. They also had an A8 but we were not going there. He was not sure which to get so I sat in the back of the car where my children would be and it was clear the A4 had no room for my children's legs. The A6 would do.
We drove it to Virginia, upon our move last year. We have had it for 4 years now and it has always been his car. Well now that we both need to drive he is happy as he was driving the car himself, all this time. I have to say I was not sensitive in the least to him driving, as this was his car and I had my subway. Who would have known this would become a source of marital stress? And when it came to driving, I was out of practice. I wouldn't drive as I avoided stress of the streets and highways, now the same stress crept into my home. Of course I wanted to avoid the stress of resentment for me not driving. I didn't have a choice anymore and that made me angry. And I had no right to be. I knew he had won this one but I needed time.
6 months later and I surprised him for new years and drove him around. But the first time I got in the car, I opened the door and the seat slid forward by itself. I interpreted this as "She did not want me in the driver's seat as it was reserved for "Him". It has a lot of cool gadgets so I eventually arrived at this conclusion. My husband later told me that has never happened to him and found my reasoning humorous. Now I drive her all the time and have become good friends. Parking is always a work in progress and I joke with other drivers how terrible I am at parking and how they may never get out or into their car.
The other day my husband mentioned trading the Audi in and I was surprised at my reaction. "No way!" I said. "You can get a new car. This one is mine". Then I realized the car and I had became friends. At this point there was not resentment from my husband for not driving. As I became friends with his car, he became friends with me. Men can be strange in that way.....