>> Monday, November 29, 2010
Thanksgiving was great but it was after Thanksgiving that really threw me for a loop. My husband and I have had smooth sailing and we came to a bump in the road. Now most blogs do not bring up problems in their marriages but why not? How else can we truly learn from each other and relate as spouses.
It was not easy to hear all the things that led up to this point. He had a difficult time as well. We had silent treatments, to struggled for clarity, to time in our own thoughts, to expressed anger, to "just go I will live without you, I think, of course I will, kinda, good riddens." Then stillness. Then a sealed letter and long email simultaneously, to let's talk tonight and then the civil conversation of more reality testing and uncovered feelings, to more struggle for clarity but this time freeing. And Release. Smile, to giggle, to laughter and all is again, right in the world.
I have to tell you. I thought this was the big one. I even thought of all of you who are nice enough to join and check in with a few words here and there. Live Ever After (Happily) would have been no more or Live Ever After (with someone else). It really was difficult. I almost did not want to write about it but I knew I had to be true to myself and blog. That's a real blog in my standards. It's not just about recipes and jokes as I have learned.
I was really taken off guard as I did not expect it. We are at the point where we work things out simply and it has been a while since we argued. Maybe it was time for one. We became too comfortable with each other. There needed to be some shaking up to see what this marriage is worth. It took two days. But it had been rearing its ugly head for some time now, invisible to the both of us and then showed up and ruined the holiday weekend celebration. We just resolved everything five hours ago, but I tell you I am exhausted. It's the feeling of victory after a 10 mile run but better. Hearing him and my own voice speak about changes was the refreshing part. "You mean you don't want the D word?" Whew, What a relief. "I'm a keeper?" "Aaaah. Well I think I'll keep you around, just make sure you behave yourself".
Another married battle has been won. I am emotionally and mentally exhausted and going to bed now. Sleep is going to be soooo gooood. Goodnight. Thanks for listening.