>> Friday, April 30, 2010

Today is the last day of National Poetry Month and I wanted to end it with "His Eyes Dimmed", as it reminds me of a time I was a newlywed and this one night I was, let's say, too quick with my mouth. I love this poem as it is so heart felt.

His Eyes Dimmed
, by Petrina Yemane

Never before have I seen the light washed from his eyes. That's when I realized he cries. Once such a happy face that took the shape of an invincible man, for the words I used were so strong cutting him deep, he could no longer stand. My prince now sat in rags and through his dimmed eyes I caught, a glimpse of his scared heart. Cursed is the tongue that holds truths untold, to proclaim thoughts so pompous, so bold. Oh no, reverse time, don't let it slip, hold fast, too late, I tripped. Over the words which would bring disease and now it cannot be seized, for that's when I saw it; his eyes dimmed.

The cushion has become a dagger. His spirit lost is what's sadder. My love, my life, I apologize. Deserving not, were the tears from your eyes. Restitution must and will be made. For it is your companionship that I crave and it's your love that will save. With all that's been said and done, there is no knowlegde made sane, no passion contained, no elements of power that may harness love. Lessons learned, proven correct, aah the spoken word, wisely one must select. Now though my words are to blame, I have changed. From this time on life will not be the same. Strive build up, put courage into, these are just a few I recite. Proud you will be to call me wife. And I promise that forever and a day, I will carry your scar, from that day, when your eyes...dimmed.
-Art in its written form, Copyright 2005, www.amazon.com


The Botanical Gardens

>> Friday, April 23, 2010

When I was younger my mother never went on trips with me or came to see me in my starring
roles. To miss a day of work meant having a roof over our heads but nothing to eat for a week. For my children I go once in a while on their trips as I thought in comparative to my life, this was a whole lot. One day my son said why don't we go on trips with him? I dared not mention that I have been but looked at the fact that he was getting old enough to express his needs. It dawned on me that I had become conditioned from my past and brought it into my new family. Also there are two of us (Divide and Conquer), my husband can go when I am unable to go. So we set the stage for going to both son's trips because of course the younger one got word and decided to advocate for himself as well. Now we are regulars missing a few here and there, but they are much happier. This trip was with my oldest son to Botanical Gardens in New York City. We saw woods and creeks; waterfalls and fields, and the most beautiful flowers. The yellow ones are my wallpaper on

on my phone. They look like professional pictures although it was taken with the camera on my sell phone. There were so many exotic flowers and fields. I may have to do a part two for this post. I had never seen an indigo, almost black tulip before. Everyone had a picture of this lovely. I also have one of the inside of a gorgeous red tulip, which I will also have to post later. All in all we had a great time. We stopped to have lunch at the water falls. It was so peaceful. I took the picture of the wishes for you. Go ahead make a wish.


"Divide and Conquer"

>> Friday, April 16, 2010

I enjoy spending time with other couples. You learn so much from each other. Especially about parenting because you get two perspectives. Our dear friend moved to Connecticut last year, (boohoo) and when our children were about three & an infant, they had twins, one boy and one girl who were in school. When the twins were 7, our friends had this phrase that never left me; "Divide and Conquer". I remembered a one time amendment to the phrase which was, "With one you have a handle on things but if you have three or more, you're out numbered".

Now the phrase could mean a couple of things. One was with discipline, as a family they worked out their own way, contract, for having discussions with each child, when necessary, with only mommy or only daddy in a private place. Either parent was the disciplinarian. It worked the same way with spending Saturdays together. Our friends had their date times and family outings, but they also had a Saturday to spend with one of the twins. So it was so nice to see Daddy take out daughter to wherever she wanted and talk about life as well as mommy with son. It was so endearing for me to see mommy spending time with daughter, going to the salon or getting pretty nail designs, as I do not have a girl to experience this wonderful phenomenon. Then to see the son with father, is just a tear jerker for me. Kind of like when you see dads in the street carrying their babies in the carry on snuggle pocket, thing a ma jig.

We now take our boys out and I realize how much they need that individual time with those they love as they have their own relationships. I also learned 6 to 7 is a good time to start but explaining the plan to them first. As you know when children are younger, you are not leaving their site without a fight. They do not care who your spending time with, especially another sibling ;) So anyway I found "Divide and Conquer" such an intriguing phrase and it brings back fond memories of our times together. We will be meeting our our friends again for an upcoming holiday. I'll let you know what's new with them.


It Lies Not in our Power to Love or Hate

In honor of National Poetry Month:

It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overruled by fate.
When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should love, the other win;
And one especially do we affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows; let it suffice
What we behold is censured by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?
--Christopher Marlowe


Expectations of Children

>> Monday, April 12, 2010

If I were to write a book on children, there are three ground breaking concepts I would build on. The first is parents, families and outsiders expectations. When is it at 5 years old, they are big boys and girls who should not wet their beds, know how to eat at a table and know how to share. Let's be honest, some of us still do not know the proper way to eat at a table, and share with others. The second thing is, they have been living on this planet, given life for 3, 4, 5 years or more. We do not realize this is not a long time to master anything. If they do that's a freebie, insight into their characters and just plain old joy at being a parent. How long have we not changed a certain characteristic or bad habit and it is more than 5 years (my hands just raised). Lets have positive expectations. If a child is crying on the train, they may be exhausted or hungry as most people on the trains, coming or going to their destinations, usually are. If you see a temper-tantrum in the store realize there are times when you just had to spend money to get those shoes or dress. And if they are not friendly towards you do not take it personal. Now a days many people are guarded and untrusting, for good reason. Are you naturally friendly with people you don't know. Let alone if anyone greets their neighbors anymore. Lastly, if you have an energetic child or children like I do, they have all this power that is expected to be kept under control. It may seem more like a hindrance or flaw now, but when they grow up they will do amazing things, as this character is what they will need for their careers, in which only they can do. When they come into their own, you want them to harness this energy to direct it into something positive and not try and stop it. The worst thing would be to try and stop it. Instead try to cultivate and when they are older they will be dynamic.


Love of My Life

>> Saturday, April 10, 2010


What do you have to offer?

>> Wednesday, April 07, 2010

I have been meaning to do this for quite some time. I have played the senerio in my mind for a few years now but had to prepare myself and have all my dots in a straight line. I finally made the call today and will keep you updated.

I love working with families and their teenagers and I have always wanted to give back. As a college student I enrolled myself into a mentoring program and was a big sister to a wonderful young lady. I always felt I have a story to tell as I grew up with a difficult childhood and what better therapy for anyone from that background is to share your experience while helping other at the same time.

So, today I called as an Alumnus of my old High School to see if they have a Keynote speaker for this year. Turns out they do not as of yet but the person I need to speak to is not in today. I will have to try tomorrow. I will keep you updated. But in the meantime, what has been brewing in your mind and how can you take steps to have it crystallize? You have a lot to offer. Let me know your thoughts as well.



(In honor of National Poetry Month)

So sweet the hour, so calm the time,
I feel it more than half a crime,
When Nature sleeps and stars are mute,
To mar the silence ev'n with lute.
An image of Elysium lies:
Seven Pleaiades entranced in Heaven,
Form in the deep another seven:
Endymion nodding from above
Sees in the sea a second love.
Within the valleys dim and brown,
and on the spectral mountains crown,
The wearied light is dying down,
And earth, and stars, and sea, and sky
Are redolent of thee and thine
Enthralling love, my Adeline.
--by Edgar Allen Poe


If Thou Must Love Me

>> Tuesday, April 06, 2010

If though must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
"I love her for her smile...her look... her way
Of speaking gently,...for a trick or thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasure ease on such a day"-
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,-and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so, Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,
A creature might forget to weep who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby.
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning


If Ever I Have Thought or Said

>> Friday, April 02, 2010

April is National Poetry Month. I will be featuring many poems throughout this time; starting with poems of love.

If Ever I Have Thought or Said
If ever I have thought or said
In all the seasons of the past
One word at which thy heart has bled
Believe me, it will be the last.

The tides of life are deep and wide,
The currents swift to bear apart
E'en kindred ships; but from thy side
I pray my sail may never start.

If, in the turning day and night
Of this our earth, our little year,
Thou shalt have lost me from thy sight
Across the checkered spaces drear,

Thy words are uttered; and the mind
Accustomed, cannot all forget;
While written in my heart I find
An impulse that is deeper yet.

We love but never know the things,
To value them, that nearest stand.
The heart that travels seaward brings
The dearest treasure home to land.
--Philip Henry Savage