"Classic"-MKTO

>> Thursday, April 03, 2014


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Repost- Arguing in front of the kids.

>> Sunday, March 30, 2014

Article: Arguing in front of the kids.

I would like to repost as this was a good read and reminder. Written in 2012 and I still remember the lesson from that day.

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Divorced Man-Advice I wish I had.

>> Friday, March 28, 2014

This Guy Got Divorced And Said This About His Ex-Wife... And I Agree With Him.
Gerald Rogers got divorced after 16 years of marriage. Recently he wrote a eye-opening public confession on his blog... after I saw it, I'm totally with him. He writes:

''MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert. But there's something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different... After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish I would have had...

1) NEVER STOP COURTING.
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
You will constantly change. You're not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her.
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can't help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER...
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it's what you wanted or not.

It gets better to read the entire article click here.

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Niece's Wedding-Steve Harvey

>> Saturday, March 22, 2014

Too funny. His wife must have said why did I get involved? Warning a little raw near the end.


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Patience

>> Thursday, March 20, 2014

Dictionary.com defines patience:

pa·tience

noun
1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

Patience. A noble and worthy virtue to possess especially in love relationships. I have learned from the process of couples working out their differences that this may be one of the basic of all basic valuable tools to a happy relationship.

This is the secret from observing and interacting with couples who have figured it out, sometimes after many many years of being together: The problem is your expectations. Yes your expectations. You may have a particular strength that is your spouses weakness. You EXPECT them to be on the same level as you to change a particular behavior. This causes much stress. Patience says it will take time before they can master the particular thing that is driving you crazy. It may never change. But that is patience. Even if they never change, you will love them anyway.

Remember it works the opposite way as well. You have a weakness in character or a particular area that drives the other person mad and can be frustrating. What is it you expect from them.....patience. The humbling part of a relationship is its balancing act for complementing weaknesses with the others strength. Honestly listening to your spouse and following through with what they tell you will be the secret to your growth in that area. Why? Because it is their strength.

You both are the greatest resource for each other. Use what has been given to you. Be open to the fact that you can learn from your spouse. Go a step further and encourage them by letting them know it is a strength that you would like to learn from them. It might not be right away but it will take a lot of stress of of the relationship.  So be patient with your spouse.  

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Wrong Number-Carol Bernett and Tim Conway

>> Wednesday, March 19, 2014


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Bravery to Love

>> Monday, March 17, 2014

For an independent study course I took in college, I presented a research paper on migration immigration and subcultures. What has always been fascinating to me is the study of relationships within a culture's subculture. It is assumed that two African American people have a lot in common and should date and marry. Similarly European people will be perfect for one another, as with Latinos and Asian cultures as well.

Just because you are two people from the same race, same background, even same town does not make you compatible. Why? Because there is "subculture" which levels the playing flied. There are different norms and customs in each household causing friction on how to raise children, who has the dominant role, how to handle conflict, etc. It doesn't matter if your from the same place speaking the same language. How many people speak the same langauge and grew up in the same location and are not compatible.

What has shown to be the secret to a healthy relationship or marriage has not been how similar you are but how you work out your differences. This is true with all marriages arranged, of the same culture, of the same country, of the same clan, of the same tribe and interracial couples. As a species we are always developing, advancing and becoming inclusive while keeping our morals and values. We will always be different from our peers, relatives and even within our own family unit! Only your loyalty, expression of love and bravery to love the other person is what really truly matters.


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